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      讓靈魂附在另一個骨架里,去追逐和感受另一個人生,或平淡如水,或光怪陸離,那些都是你不曾擁有,卻極致渴望的世界......
      當前時間:2019-07-20 19:46:17
      1. 愛閱小說
      2. 都市
      3. 少年奮斗史
      4. 卷首語:我的愛情

      卷首語:我的愛情

      更新于:2018-03-16 07:38:40 字數:2291

      字體: 字號:
        曾經的我瘋狂的追求愛情,渴望得到愛情之神的照耀,得到一份真摯的愛情,沒錯,我得到了,我得到了一份愛情,一份不屬于我的愛情,一份讓我從此不再相信世上會有“愛”這東西的“愛情”。

        那是一段沒有結局的愛情,從相戀到分離,不到短短的一個月,一開始的相戀,我很開心,因為我第一次鼓起勇氣去向一位女生表白,而她接受了,答應了和我在一起。當我聽到她給我答案的那一刻,我的心里再也沒有別的思想,只有濃濃的高興,而在接下來這段日子里,我每天都可以帶著喜悅的心情去看她,想她,念她……這樣的甜美日子出現不久,她……便提出了分手……那一刻,我的心真的很痛,仿佛被一億根針穿透而過……一開始我很冷靜的笑問她,說一切都不是真的,而后,她的一句話讓我真正的把最后一點希望都破滅了……

        “對不起,我們真的不適合!”她說。

        這一刻,我的心真的碎了,苦苦堅持的心,希望得到回補的心,在她的這一句話下,徹底的真正崩潰和碎裂開來了……

        我努力的挽回著,她卻是無動于衷。這時我才明白,她,真的離我而去了……

        失去她的那段日子里,我沒有再去看我最愛看的小說,我沒有再去照顧我心愛的貓,我沒有哭,我沒有瘋狂的發泄。我,很安靜的坐在陽臺上,沐浴在雖燦爛但我卻感覺不到溫暖的陽光下,聽著《聽著情歌流眼淚》,雖然這是一首很老舊和古遠的歌曲,現在很多人都不愿去聽這種古典沒情調的老掉牙的歌曲了。

        “就讓我聽著情歌流眼淚/

        窗外的北風還在吹….”

        悲傷寂寥的旋律環繞在耳邊,不斷的刺激著我的心,從這首歌中,我感受到太多太多,心早已冷卻,愛早已不再復回……

        這首歌,我愛聽,只有這首歌才能真正明明白白、徹徹底底的了解我此時此刻的心情。

        我真希望我能夠熟睡下去,一直安安靜靜的熟睡下去,永遠不要醒來,在夢中,我不會有悲傷,不會有難過,我的世界只有我自己所希望出現的美好,永遠不會覺得單調,永遠不會覺得孤單、寂寞……

        這就是我的愛情,悲劇而短暫……

        直至現在,我還依然希望,你……能過回到我身邊……其實,我并不知道自己為什么會這么愛著你,。為你,我有沒有哭過?有。愛你,我有沒有哭過?也有。朋友問我,你是不是腦子壞了愛上那么一個人。我并不知道,那時的我,對你,已經不能自拔了。我知道,我陷進了愛情的泥潭里。我想出來,可怎么也出不來。曾經對自己說過,我們注定只能是朋友。心底早已知道的那個結果,自己卻怎么也不愿意承認。我以為,我會像以前一樣,簡單的愛上一個人,簡單的忘記。可是,不是。我不知道自己這是怎么回事,只知道只要你過的好就是我快樂的。當眼淚與流星同一時間滑落的時候,我知道。我崩潰了。當思念這份痛的時候,我在慢慢舔恃我的傷口。它好痛。所有的所有,。我只能用一句普通的不能在普通的話來解釋給自己聽。這一切,都是天注定。

        今夜,想你了。看著你的照片,是我唯一可以接近你的方法。只有讓你的照片一直陪我,直到疲倦,。有時候也問自己,為什么要這么傻傻的愛你。可自己,卻真的無法回答自己。或許,我只是不愿意承認自己早已知道的那個結局。每天,總是伴著幻想入睡。總是伴著有你的夢醒來。當清晨的陽光映入我朦朧的雙眼,我知道,想你的一天又即將開始。有時候真的想問你,我這樣等下去,等到的會是什么。有時候真的想大哭一場,再告訴你,愛你,真的會讓我哭泣。可我知道,這樣問你,更難過的是你。你不想傷害任何人,所以,你不敢說愛。可是,在等下去。我不知道,我的心還能承受多少愛的壓力。如果真的不可以,如果在你心里,我永遠沒有位置。你就告訴我放棄,我會遠離。遠離沒有你的世界。不在去打擾你的心。現在的你,早已睡去。你是否知道,這深夜里,有一顆心始終在你那里陪伴著你。不知道如何訴說的我,只有寫出這些話語。卻又擔心,你會生氣。寫這篇日記的途中,我無意間睡著了。而醒來繼續寫,夜已慢慢的遠離。告訴我,到底怎樣,你才會付出你的心?到底怎樣,才能不讓我在哭泣。是不是愛上你我注定要哭泣?愛太深,痛越更深

        如此認真卻又如此天真

        為何我還在等

        又為何我還要等

        想忘掉,想睡了

        愛太痛,我卻無法解脫

        想改變這生活卻又害怕錯過

        真的心你可知道

        真愛你只有我

        愛太深,我卻無能為力

        想忘了你卻無法忘記

        傷痛的心依然看著你的眼

        忘了你,太難

        無法回到我們的過去

        像花一樣隨流水而去

        曾以為是幸福卻得到是痛苦

        活在有你的昨天世界

        讓我無法面對明天的路

        愛明白,悲傷終會結束

        過去承諾相信會出現

        哪怕再傷再痛我也不后悔

        愿等你,到永遠

        愛太深,已深埋在心底

        再見到你我會抱緊你

        這首愛你的歌,你是否聽到

        真愛你只有我

        愛你的歌你可聽到

        真愛你,只有我

        忘了你太難(雖然我曾說要放棄你,但事情真的如我想的那么簡單嗎?答案是沒有,忘掉一個人真的太難了,尤其是我曾經深愛的一個人,嘴上說想忘了她,在我的心底卻無法抹去她的身影,每天深夜,我在徘徊,我真的能忘了你嗎?我苦思了十幾夜,最后,我無法放下對你的迷戀,我真的愛你愛你愛的如此的深,雖然我現在無法給你什么,我現在也許無法為做什么驚天動地的事情,無法讓你感到幸福,幸福是什么,我無法說清楚,我也深深的知道自己的無能為力,但我現在真的無法給你什么,正因為如此,我不敢輕易吐露自己的心聲,對你說我喜歡你,我愛你,那是不現實的,我沒有物質基礎,無法給你什么幸福,沒有物質基礎的支持,我能給你什么,陪我吃苦?那是不可能的。我苦思,苦鬧,最后,我只有把對你的思念深深的埋葬在心底,不敢透露。我想忘了你,不再苦惱下去,但我做不到,忘了你太難。。。。。

        ——————沈小漠

      字體: 字號:
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